Tag Archives: mentoring

Why successful people should be mentored?

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Not knowing whether you need a mentor or not at the beginning.

People often assume that mentorship is something you outgrow. They imagine it as a ladder. It’s something you climb early in your career. Once you reach a certain level of success, you step off and stand on your own.

In reality, the opposite is true. The higher you go, the more critical mentorship becomes. I’ve learned this repeatedly throughout my career in open source, in leadership, and in life.

Success Doesn’t Eliminate Blind Spots

When you achieve success, you start to hear less honest feedback. People around you become careful with their words. Colleagues hesitate to challenge your ideas. Slowly, your perspective narrows. It happens not out of arrogance. It’s hard to see what no one reflects back at you.

That’s where a mentor makes all the difference. A good mentor isn’t impressed by your title or your achievements. They see you as the person behind the professional identity. They’ll challenge your assumptions and remind you that growth never stops, no matter how far you’ve come.

Learning Never Ends

The world around us moves too fast for anyone to claim mastery. Technologies evolve, leadership philosophies change, and the definition of success itself shifts over time.

Mentorship keeps you learning. It introduces you to new ways of thinking, new perspectives, and new generations. It forces you to stay curious, and curiosity is what keeps leaders relevant.

In my years working with global database communities, I’ve seen brilliant engineers become stagnant simply because they stopped seeking input. The best ones? They’re still asking questions, still open to being mentored.

Every Step Forward Is New Territory

No matter how experienced you are, every stage of career growth is unexplored terrain. Each new role, responsibility, or challenge introduces conditions you’ve never faced. There are new dynamics, new expectations, and sometimes, new vulnerabilities.

Mentors are the ones who’ve walked those paths already. They know where the turns are, where you stumble, and how to prepare for what’s coming next. They help you see beyond the horizon of your current comfort zone.

That foresight is the ability to anticipate the next chapter of your journey. It is one of the most valuable gifts mentorship offers. It opens your mind to possibilities you have never considered. It helps you approach the unknown with clarity rather than fear.

The Lonely Space at the Top

Leadership is often described as empowering, and it is, but it’s also lonely. You carry responsibilities that few others truly understand. You can’t always be vulnerable with your team or share the full weight of the decisions you make.

Having a mentor gives you a space to breathe. Someone who listens without judging, who helps you find balance when everything feels heavy. Sometimes, mentorship isn’t about advice at all. It’s about presence and perspective. It’s about being reminded that you’re not alone in figuring it out.

From Achievement to Legacy

There’s a point where success stops being about how much you achieve and starts being about what you enable. Mentorship helps you make that shift.

It turns experience into impact. It teaches you how to guide others. It shows you how to pass on lessons without ego. You learn how to translate hard-earned wisdom into something that outlives your career. Every time I’ve been mentored, I’ve become a better mentor myself. I think that is the real cycle of growth.

The Real Value of Mentorship

I’ve come to see mentorship not as a career stage, but as a lifelong relationship with learning. It keeps you honest. It keeps you grounded. And it ensures that success doesn’t harden into comfort.

If anything, mentorship is a mirror. It helps you stay true to your principles. It also connects you to your evolution and your humanity.

No matter how much experience I gain, I’ll always seek mentors. Because the moment I stop learning from others is the moment I stop growing.

This is why I still believe in mentorship even after a successful career. In conclusion, have I had a dedicated mentor in my career? The short answer is no, but I’ve had role models along the way. I’ve used them as my mentors and always asked them what would I do if I were them.

Book Recommendation: https://a.co/d/hc6f6le

How it's going?

30th Anniversary Edition

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How it started?
How it's going?

In this edition of the blog post, I want to summarize my three decades (excluding my internships) of hustle in Information Technology. This is not only a tribute to my 30th anniversary in the field but also a show of appreciation for those with whom I’ve crossed paths—sharing knowledge, experiences, and moments of blood, sweat, and tears. Through this journey, I have worked to become a humble, smart, and resourceful person. I will continue to mentor and coach, share what I’ve learned, and help others achieve even greater success.

The majority of my background has been as a Database Administrator (DBA), although my academic foundation was in Electronics in high school and Software Development in college. As my career progressed, I naturally gravitated toward data management, making databases my core focus.

From the early days of navigating the evolving landscape of databases and technology to leading global teams and contributing to the open-source community, every challenge and milestone has shaped me. Along the way, I’ve had the privilege of working with brilliant minds, tackling complex problems, and building solutions that have left a lasting impact.

Of course, the databases I’ve worked with have also connected me with their respective communities. In the early days, enterprise communities were tightly controlled—corporations dictated what could and couldn’t be shared. A decade ago, we started seeing individuals clarify that their views on social media were their own and not their employer’s. Back then, when working on a project, we operated in silence—no open discussions, no forums, just internal tickets to the database provider if an issue arose. I also predate the internet, social media, and the niche forums we have today, which has given me a unique perspective on how knowledge sharing has evolved.

My journey began as a Technical Support Engineer for Informix (acquired by IBM in 2000). From there, I transitioned into full-time DBA roles across various companies—both as a consultant and a full-time employee. There are too many to list, but the key takeaway is that technology forces adaptation. As Informix declined in popularity, I shifted to Oracle and SQL Server, which dominated most of my career until I transitioned to full-scale MySQL administration. That’s where real community engagement started (link).

Does It Take 10,000 Hours to Master a Skill?

It does—or at least that much time to fully digest the internals of what you’re working on. Whether it’s 10,000 hours, nautical miles, or kilometers, the exact metric doesn’t matter. What does matter is the time spent developing tribal knowledge—understanding shortfalls, known issues, edge cases, strengths, and weaknesses.

Along the way, we all make mistakes. We think we’ve learned our lessons, but the reality is that learning never stops. The most important lesson I’ve learned? Never give up. The moment you step back and quit, you risk an epic failure—one that may come at a cost you can’t afford. Persistence is everything.

As I mark this 30-year milestone, I remain committed to the tech community—mentoring, coaching, and pushing the boundaries of what’s possible with open-source databases. Here’s to the next chapter and many more years of learning, teaching, and growing together.

Is 24x7x365 days+6 hours and leap seconds availability possible?

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Can you really be available at all times?

Wired, connected even addicted to reality, yes you can. We live in a connected world. Either you are the technical or non-technical person in the business world you are bound to connect to corporate networks. In our personal lives, we are always connected to the internet.

Are we too much connected?

Studies say we are. In other words, bots rule the Internet and non-deterministic algorithms shape our lives. This is where the internet evolved past twenty years. It came all good with some caveats such as data breaches, stolen identities, manipulation via social media and more. When we are reviewing social media feeds we don’t always realize what’s out there isn’t the latest and greatest. It’s what others wanted us to see over their interests in terms of marketing. Usually what we see is a result of user reactions shaped by in today’s actions likes, views, shares behind the scenes of sponsors.

If you are reading personal development books like I do, you’ll hear the following theme:

  • Do not use the internet before and after your bedtime.
  • Do not respond to emails interactively.
  • Do not respond to emails you’re cc’ed on first.
  • Do not post or share information you aren’t absolutely sure it’s true.
  • Do not enable notifications blindly, remember to mute group conversations.

Do’s and Don’ts are several but what’s important here is how did we become connected 24x7x365 days + 6hours and leap seconds.

Is it really necessary to be connected to the world at all times?

In my case, I’ve felt like that for several reasons.

  1. My job required me to be on-call or part of the escalation for over two decades.
  2. Increased family responsibilities after having children for what-if scenarios.
  3. Immediate family and friends possibility of reaching for help.
  4. The social life that demands you to be available and responsible in some sort.

I categorize above responsibilities in different orders at times but it feels this is how our lives shaped as far as availability concerned.

Smartphones, not so smart people –

How to get away from staring at our smartphones is actually easy. Find yourself a hobby that will limit your availability, responsibility, and attachment to smartphones, tablets, gaming consoles, and computers. If you realized I’m not even mentioning TV sets as they were the dummy boxes of the previous era. In that age and time, the non-book reading generation was attached to TV via sitcoms, tv series and more. In reality, it wasn’t any different than today. The same rule applied as we have watched and listened to what others wanted. I find a very good use of TV time by watching lots of documentaries, adventure, and expedition series and some news if not at a major sports event.

Going back to hobbies, exercise is one of the best and cheapest hobby you can find yourself disconnected even for a small period of time. I will get into exercise and diet post details later.

Years ago, I started exercising for 15 minutes every morning before checking my phone. If the world failed apart when I was on sleep, literally if it didn’t ring or page, 15 minutes or less would not make a big change. If it’s that important phone should have made some noise to wake me up. Although I sleep very light my smart watch tells me that there’s a period about one and a half hour I’m out of the world.

I have several hobbies that keep me occupied and let me learn something new every day but I hope these tips also help others to be disconnected at times.

Where did I start reading?

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In this blog post, I’m going to try to cover my reading initiative. As you already know one of the difficult tasks in professional life is to find a balance to enhance or develop new skills. In today’s world, we’re lucky to reach all the information we need to get better at things we do. Several of those include learning new things, doing things more efficiently and finding the balance between work and life.

I get a lot of questions on the reading list that I had. When I started my own approach I really had no guidance. There were few recommendations but they were all related to the specific subject not broader plan that I could use. So I started my own learning program to learn how to read first.

I’ve given advice, list of books and often times examples from the books or digest of ideas from many books I’ve read. I don’t think I’ve read enough books yet but if someone tells you they’ve speed read a book in a week and they can repeat that for weeks maybe in months, please don’t take that as an example. It’s really not recommended.

In my opinion, a good book should be:

  • Relevant to what you are trying to achieve in life.
  • Easy to follow and understand clearly.
  • Interesting and intriguing to your objectives.

Until and after you read a book, you will not know if the above is true. It’s also true that I’ve had a few disappointments myself due to different factors.

Where did I start to learn what books to read?

I can only think of one book straight out and recommend a great book by Marshall Goldsmith, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful . This book was not only a great beginner’s book, it was also exactly the purpose of the situation I was in. Interestingly enough, the order of the book that you will be reading will define the path you may follow. So I think this is the reason behind this blog post. I’ve had another adventure on Brain Rules. Not that it’s a wrong book or anything timing was not right. After reading several leadership books, you can easily find most information references what’s in this book. Both books are great and had me find my real journey to the rest of the grand plan.

I’ve continued with The Personal MBA. This book not only talks about what you’ve been doing wrong all along also comes with The 99 Best Business Books list. Basically, after subscribing Josh Kaufman’s email newsletter you get an email with this comprehensive list of books to read. Before moving on anything on this massive list grouped by different business subjects it’s wise to read his second book advised. The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything . . . Fast! 

Once you start with the above information, you will have a pretty good idea to pursue to focus on what you want to achieve.

Here’s a list of the top 10 books that had an impact on my business life:

  1. The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Achieving More with Less
  2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
  3. Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win
  4. Pitch Anything: An Innovative Method for Presenting, Persuading, and Winning the Deal
  5. Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds
  6. The Ideal Team Player: How to Recognize and Cultivate The Three Essential Virtues
  7. Firms of Endearment: How World-Class Companies Profit from Passion and Purpose
  8. The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
  9. Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose
  10. Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box

The order may vary by purpose and person. Again remember the idea is to figure out what’s out there and focus on purpose. This is not the full list of books I can recommend rather a give you guidance.

If you are a slow reader, maybe start with this 10 Days to Faster Reading: Jump-Start Your Reading Skills with Speed reading. I prefer Audible – Audiobooks & Podcasts. Audible mobile apps allow offline versions of audiobooks, which are perfect for long flights without the internet. Audible is also a space saver during travel due to baggage limits. I carry all my technical books in a cloud drive where I can pull offline if needed. So Audible solves this problem by bringing non-technical books to my iPad/iPhone. Cloud sync also allows devices to remember where you left off.

At the time of writing this blog post, I’ve been reading Business Model You: A One-Page Method For Reinventing Your Career and was pretty impressed by its content. In conclusion, reading self-development books is helpful in business and personal life but not enough. Eat healthy, exercise, and enjoy work-life balance to achieve greater success.

Are you a Workaholic?

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           The workaholism is one of the biggest problems where professionals face challenges between work and life balance. It is self-destroying inner impact to working people eventually spreading side effects to family, friends and even colleagues.

            The overwhelming pressure at work or in today’s terms ‘want to be the company’s rock star’ along with perfection instinct can bring serious consequences.Once, it leads to make one workaholic rather than a self-disciplined hard worker, the impact to person’s surroundings is irreversible.

            Experts and researchers in this area of work life balance and addictive working found out that, generally people forced to adult responsibilities in early ages ends up being a workaholic. They feel in need of doing everything themselves and become self sufficient while controlling surroundings (The Workaholics).  Moreover they will turn in to a person they aren’t meant for. Responsibilities may come from loss of family member to an individual in very early ages. The scenarios leading to taking too many responsibilities on early ages will eventually start causing physical and mental breakdowns. Furthermore some of mental side effects may turn in to anger management issue as well.

            While there’s a need for professional help on finding out whether one is a workaholic or not, it is clear if following symptoms exists;

  • Excessive worries about work and deadlines.
  • Intense work style, always feeling pressured.
  • Being state of panic and watched at all times.
  • Far away from teamwork environment.

There is a possibility leading to become workaholic if not already in process. As always one other method determining a workaholic is whether they accept being one or not.  If an individual worker showing signs of workaholism but refuses when asked, he/she is usually a workaholic.

            There are many ways to have a good work and life balance starting for limiting work hours. It is also very important to work efficiently during business hours by avoiding unnecessary distractions. Small but seriously time consuming events add up during the day and in total, consume a lot of unrecoverable time. Focusing on work with self-discipline will help getting work done in timely manner and will avoid extensive overtime. Addictive but short-lived interactions such as extensive gaming, smart-phones, tablets and Internet takes quality time away from family, friends and natural beauties surrounding us.  Healthy living is the key for success at work. It can easily be achieved with quality food, exercising and a complete good night’s sleep. 

            In conclusion to avoid becoming a workaholic follow simple steps of healthy living and question constantly what is important is in life. The answer is always be enjoying the life as much as possible with loved ones.

 

 

 References:

                        The Workaholics  (Killinger , n.d) Understanding the Dynamics of Workaholism, Retrieved from, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-workaholics/201112/understanding-the-dynamics-workaholism

                        Treatment for Workaholics (Addiction Treatment Magazine,  2009) Treatment for Workaholics, Retrieved from, http://www.addictiontreatmentmagazine.com/addiction/treatment-for-workaholics/